Have you ever felt like one part of you wanted to speak up, while another part wanted to stay silent? Or that there are several “parts” you you - like the anxious part, the perfectionist, the inner critic, or the exhausted caregiver? Or that a piece of you is deeply tired, but another part insists you keep going?

Internal Family Systems (IFS) was created by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz, a family therapist and academic. In the 1980s, while working with clients using traditional family therapy methods, Dr. Schwartz began to notice that his clients often spoke about different "parts" of themselves—like an inner critic, a wounded child, or a protective voice. Rather than pathologizing these voices, he got curious. He began to treat these internal "parts" as valid and purposeful, much like members of a family system.

Over time, he developed IFS into a formal model based on two key ideas:

We are made up of multiple parts, each with their own emotions, beliefs, and roles.
At our core is the Self, a calm, compassionate, and curious inner leader that can help bring healing and harmony to these parts.

Think of it like a musical with an ensemble cast—each part has a voice, a backstory, and something important to share.

**Remember Elphaba from *Wicked*?**

Misunderstood. Protective. Powerful. Often judged by the outside world—yet deeply motivated by justice, truth, and love.

Through an IFS lens, Elphaba is a powerful symbol of how our inner parts are shaped by early experiences. As a child, she endured rejection, loneliness, and the burden of being "different." She developed parts that protected her fiercely—sarcasm, self-reliance, anger. Not because she was bad or broken, but because those parts believed they had to protect her from more pain.

And under those protectors? A younger, wounded part—one who simply wanted to be accepted, chosen, and loved.

IFS teaches us that we all carry parts like this:

The protector who won’t let anyone get too close.
The fighter who pushes back against injustice, even at great cost.
The exile—the quiet, vulnerable part that holds childhood pain, shame, or longing.

Elphaba didn’t need to be "fixed." She needed to be understood. Just like our parts. Just like us.

In IFS, healing doesn’t come from silencing these inner voices—it comes from getting curious about them. Listening to their fears. Honoring their intentions. And leading from the Self—that grounded, wise core inside each of us that knows how to respond with compassion.

What if the parts of you that feel “too much,” “too sensitive,” or “too angry” are simply parts that haven’t been fully understood or listened to?

IFS has since become a widely respected, evidence-based model used in therapy for trauma, anxiety, depression, and more. It's also increasingly used outside of clinical settings—in coaching, faith, and personal growth.

Each part has a story, a purpose, and a history. And at the center of it all is your Self—a wise, calm, compassionate presence that can care for these parts with curiosity instead of criticism.

You don’t need to get rid of any part. You just need to get to know them.

Reflection Questions to Explore Your Inner World

Take a few deep breaths. Settle in. These questions are not about getting it "right"—they're about getting curious.

1. What part of me is most present right now?

What am I feeling (anxious, angry, critical, sad, numb)?
How do I experience this part in my body?

2. What does this part believe it needs to do for me?

Is it trying to keep me safe? Avoid rejection? Prevent failure?
Where did this part learn its role?

3. What is this part afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job?

Is it worried I’d fall apart? Be judged? Lose control?

4. Can I offer this part some compassion or curiosity?

What would I say to it if I weren’t afraid or ashamed of it?
What tone does it need from me—gentle, patient, direct, comforting?

5. What might this part need from me today?

Space? Validation? Reassurance? A break?

6. Is there another part that has a different reaction to this situation?

Can I hold space for both parts—without needing to choose sides?

7. What does my Self (my calm, compassionate center) want to say to these parts?

What qualities do I feel when I connect with that deeper Self—calm, clarity, confidence, creativity?

You don’t need to fix or silence your parts. You just need to listen.

What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?