Anxiety Isn’t Always Obvious: Signs You Might Be Struggling (and How to Gently Challenge It)
We often think of anxiety as panic attacks or constant worry. But sometimes, it shows up quietly—in a racing mind, trouble sleeping, or that tight feeling in your chest you can’t quite explain.
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, on edge, or stuck in overthinking, you’re not alone—and you don’t have to stay there. Let’s explore how anxiety might be showing up in your everyday life, and some gentle, practical ways to calm it.
Subtle Signs of Anxiety You Might Miss
Anxiety doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it whispers. Here are some signs it might be showing up for you:
You replay conversations in your head long after they’re over
You avoid certain people, places, or tasks “just in case”
You feel tense or irritable, even over small things
You struggle to fall asleep or wake up feeling exhausted
You try to do everything “perfectly” to avoid failure or criticism
Your brain is constantly running through what-ifs or worst-case scenarios
If you’re a parent, you may also notice anxiety showing up in your parenting:
You feel on edge when your child has big emotions
You worry constantly about how your child is doing
You feel pressure to “hold it all together” at the expense of your own peace
You notice you’re short-tempered or overly accommodating when your child is upset
Gentle Ways to Challenge Anxiety
You don’t have to fight your anxiety—you can learn to respond to it with curiosity and care. Here are three small steps that can help:
1. Name What’s Happening
Anxiety thrives in confusion. Naming it helps you step out of it.
Try saying to yourself:
“I’m noticing anxious thoughts. That doesn’t mean they’re facts.”
This gives your brain a moment to pause and reorient.
2. Breathe On Purpose
Anxious thoughts speed up your body. Slowing your breath tells your brain you’re safe.
Try this simple exercise:
Inhale for 4 seconds
Hold for 4
Exhale for 4
Hold for 4
Repeat for 2–3 minutes, especially when your body feels tense or your thoughts start to spiral.
Try this with your child too—make it playful by having them trace a square in the air or pretend to blow up a balloon.
3. Gently Face What You’ve Been Avoiding
Avoidance is anxiety’s best friend—but it keeps you stuck.
Try this:
Pick one small step toward something you’ve been avoiding.
Send the email.
Speak up in the meeting.
Drive the route you’ve been skipping.
With kids, this might look like:
Encouraging them to order their own food at a restaurant
Taking one step toward a fear (e.g., school drop-off) with gentle support
Praising bravery, not just success
Reflection Questions:
For Adults:
What does anxiety feel like in my body? When do I notice it most?
What kinds of thoughts come up when I feel anxious? Are they helpful or harmful?
When do I feel most grounded, calm, or safe? How can I build more of that into my week?
What small, doable step can I take toward something I’ve been avoiding?
Who or what helps me feel less alone in this?
For Parents:
When my child is anxious, what happens in me? Do I tense up, shut down, overcompensate?
Am I reacting to their anxiety, or responding with regulation?
What messages (spoken or unspoken) am I giving my child about emotions?
How can I model calm and curiosity, even when I don’t have all the answers?
What does co-regulation look like in our daily routines?
You’re Not Alone
Anxiety isn’t a flaw—it’s a signal. And both you and your child can learn to respond to it with gentleness, not judgment.
If you’re looking for support in understanding anxiety—for yourself or your child—therapy can help. You don’t have to figure it out alone.
