Love in Action: How to Use Love Languages to Strengthen Your Relationship
The 5 Love Languages (Quick Refresher)
Words of Affirmation – feeling loved through spoken or written encouragement, compliments, and appreciation.
Acts of Service – feeling loved when someone helps, supports, or lightens your load.
Receiving Gifts – feeling loved through thoughtful or meaningful items, not necessarily expensive ones.
Quality Time – feeling loved when someone gives undivided attention and shared experiences.
Physical Touch – feeling loved through physical closeness like hugs, holding hands, or cuddling.
Now Let’s Get Practical…
Words of Affirmation
Your partner feels loved when they hear how much you care and what you appreciate about them.
Try This:
Leave sticky notes with affirmations around the house
Send a thoughtful text during the day: “I’m so grateful for how hard you work for our family.”
Say “thank you” often and specifically
Write a short love letter, even if it’s just a paragraph
What to Avoid: Silence, criticism, or sarcasm can feel especially painful for someone who values words.
Acts of Service
Actions speak louder than words here. Love is felt when you do something that makes life easier or shows thoughtfulness.
Try This:
Tackle a chore they usually do—without being asked
Bring them coffee or lunch when they’re overwhelmed
Fill up their gas tank or schedule an appointment they’ve been avoiding
Ask: “What can I do today that would help you feel supported?”
What to Avoid: Empty promises or half-done tasks can feel like a betrayal.
Receiving Gifts
It’s not about materialism—it’s about the message: “I saw this and thought of you.”
Try This:
Surprise them with a small treat, like their favorite snack
Create a playlist, scrapbook, or curated book list just for them
Pick up a souvenir when you’re apart
Wrap a gift thoughtfully—even if it’s small
What to Avoid: Forgetting special occasions or giving generic, impersonal gifts.
Quality Time
For these partners, presence is love. They thrive on focused, undistracted connection.
Try This:
Schedule screen-free time together—even just 20 minutes
Go for a walk and talk
Start a regular tradition like Sunday morning coffee or evening board games
Use open-ended questions like: “What’s been on your mind lately?”
What to Avoid: Constant multitasking or always being "too busy" to connect.
Physical Touch
Hugs, kisses, hand-holding—this person feels most loved when they’re physically close to you.
Try This:
Give long hugs when you say goodbye or come home
Hold their hand in public
Rub their shoulders, play with their hair, or give foot massages
Snuggle while watching TV—even if you're tired
What to Avoid: Withdrawing physical affection during conflict or stress.
What If We Have Different Love Languages?
You probably do—and that’s normal. Learning to speak your partner’s love language (even when it’s not your own) is a powerful act of emotional maturity and love.
Instead of thinking, “That’s not how I show love,” try shifting to:
→ “That’s how they receive love best—so I want to love them that way.”
It’s not about perfection—it’s about effort, curiosity, and growing together.
Understanding your partner’s love language is helpful. Acting on it is transformative. When you consistently show love in a way they deeply feel it, you create a relationship where both of you feel secure, valued, and truly known.
So the next time you wonder, “Am I showing love the way they feel it?”—think about their love language, and take one small step to love them more intentionally today.
